how to get housework done

I am a relatively clean person. my house is tidy, and usually everything is dusted, scrubbed and clean. I'm not someone who can just sit down and watch tv with dirty dishes in front of me, but that doesn't mean that I'll always jump at the chance to get my housework done... the process is something like this

1. identify what needs to be cleaned - is there a pile of dishes on the counter? is the garbage can overflowing? are there clothes all over the floor?

2. but what really needs to be cleaned? - at least half (well, maybe a third) of those dishes are your roommate's, and you totally took out the garbage last week (right? did I? god that was a whole week ago) and those clothes on the floor are not clean enough to go in a drawer but not dirty enough to go in the hamper so like the floor is perfect for them

3. bargaining - okay, I can watch the mindy project as soon as I've done these dishes. it's too dark to take the garbage out and not get eaten by a bear, and the clothes make me feel at home.

4. bargaining round 2 - okay... I'll set a timer for 7 minutes. when it goes off, I'm pulling the plug and I'm just going to stop doing the dishes. 7 minutes of work is a lot.

5. get in the mood - I can't just CLEAN. I need a playlist for this shit. oooh. beyonce. this is baby making music. man I need to get laid. let's download tinder

6. swipe left - god none of these guys are cute at all... oh wait! ...no his bio has a grammatical error. this isn't going to work at all... I need someone more mature than a tinder boy.

7. find a sugar daddy - if I get a sugar daddy I can hire a maid and I won't have to clean at all ever again. go to a sugar daddy website. get totally freaked out. clear my browsing history "just in case"

8. be annoyed - ugh, I've wasted an hour and now I'm tired. I'm only going to wash the dishes for 5 minutes.

9. get that playlist playing - oh my god this is my jam I need to have a dance off while the water fills the sink. this totally counts as part of my five minutes because I'm filling the sink right?

10. just do it - the sink is now filled way past where it needs to be... I'm gonna blame pitbull. do the 5 minutes of dishes. realize that after 5 minutes I only have like 5 dishes left. might as well do them all...

and there you have it, how to get housework done.

what's your process?