how I came to love sex

A big driving force behind my wanting to start this blog was wanting to create a safe space to discuss sex and relationships. I'm a person who is very passionate about human sexuality.

I was raised to think that sex was a perfectly normal thing. If I ever had any questions, my mother didn't give me a beat-around-the-bush kind of answer (she also didn't necessarily go into gory detail, either). Even from a relatively young age I've understood what sex was and that it was a healthy, wonderful thing.

When I was a teenager, I became a Christian. Suddenly, the world I'd known of positive sexual views was really challenged - as a single, female Christian, I wasn't allowed to express my sexuality. I pledged to save myself for marriage, and I tried to pretend that the sex-positive side of myself didn't exist. 

I remember always being the one to teach my girls in high school about different things surrounding sexuality and body confidence. From teaching friends what orgasms are to being the resource for all questions sexual, I couldn't keep my sex positivity to myself. 

In university, I was extremely shocked by how open people were about sex - but also how sex-negative they tended to be in the process. As I got older, I questioned so many things about the Christian view of sex - why should I have to save myself if I love my partner? Why is homosexuality wrong? What if someone doesn't feel like they were assigned the right gender?

I remember being a virgin and sitting down with a married couple and giving them sex advice for lasting longer (him) and experiencing more pleasure (her). I remember the night before a friend's wedding, having a sleepover with the bride and the other bridesmaids and teaching them to put condoms on bananas. I became a consumer of sex-knowledge - I constantly asked my non-virgin friends totally gross questions because I just wanted to know!

Towards the end of my degree, I decided to lose my virginity and sleep with my then partner of two years. I felt no guilt, which instantly challenged everything I'd been taught by Christianity to think about sex. I'm sure that I'll soon be writing a post on virginity, but I definitely didn't feel guilty - I only felt love, security and peace. This was a big turning point for me!

As I grew away from Christianity, I realized deeply that I wanted to be a sexual health educator, and eventually a sex therapist. I found many sex positive friends, and got really into sex positive blogs and vlogs. I taught my first sex-ed class at a retreat for a student group. I realized that sex-positivity was what I wanted to do with my life! And even as I write this post I feel right in my mind and my heart. This is my passion, and I'm excited to have this blog to share it with you all