confessions of a wannabe yogi

this month, I bought a first-month-unlimited pass at yogalife studio in edmonton. this was partially inline with getting fitter, partially inline with my search for happiness, but also partially because lately my anxiety has been quite challenging to deal with. 

I've only been to four classes so far in the week I've had the pass. It's so different from what I expected. but I'm learning so much, and I've always loved the idea of being a yogi. being able to challenge myself emotionally and physically is extremely appealing. 


my first class was a hot flow class. I don't know if it was because I was PMSing, because I was in an emotionally vulnerable place, or if the instructor was just that good, I ended up crying twice. the instructor was talking about perfectionism and gratefulness. gratefulness is one of the personal intentions I've chosen for myself lately, so it just hit me in a really hard way. physically, I was a little sore afterwards, but it was an amazing class.

my second class was a hot yin class. yin yoga is basically where you spend 3-5 minutes in each pose, and really focus on exhale and letting go. this class was really great, except I ended up leaving kind of sleepy! this class I found myself comparing myself to others in the class, and I didn't like being so close to the mirror because I found myself really struggling with silencing the self consciousness I was experiencing.

my third class was a hot hatha flow class. after this class, I felt really awake and alive, which was amazing because the class was at 6am! this class, I started to really become aware of the fact that I am not a yogi, but I found some really effective breathing techniques to silence those thoughts. this class was horribly embarrassing because close to the savasana at the very end, I farted. super loudly. yeah, I'm confessing that here. it's a confession post, after all. it was SO embarrassing, and it made it hard to really calm down at the end of class.

my fourth class was a hot flow class. the instructor was amazing - it was a really chill class. I found myself being able to keep up through the flow for the first time, and I was really inspired by other people in my class. I feel like I'm finally starting to be able to look inward, and experience what is happening in the moment rather than thinking forward or of the past. this class had me attentive but relaxed, and I finally have a huge focus on quality of breath.

despite being totally new to yoga, I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it, and I'd like to start building in some jogging soon as well. do you yoga?